‘Pick-Up’ Lines in Documentary: How to approach strangers with your camera

Before you get too excited, this is not a dating guide.

You could, however, argue, that documentary photography and film have a lot in common with dating when it comes to making that first approach. You want to appear friendly, enable a conversation and hopefully initiate a more intimate kind of exchange.

In this case, this intimacy involves taking photos or videos.

I have found over hundreds of interactions and photos/videos taken, that there is a pattern to finding meaningful conversations that lead to beautiful stories. To help you avoid stepping in quite as many puddles as me, I have broken this pattern down for you below.

Want to jump ahead?

Where to look for subjects:

Look at the image below.

Getting this image might seem like a stroke of good luck, but I assure you I didn’t just stumble past this person. I seek out and approach people with a system in mind, and the first step to this system is finding the right place.

Ask yourself:

Which places would attract people relevant to my story?

If you are interested in agriculture, seek out farmers markets or actively operating farms in rural villages. Looking in the bustling city won’t lead anywhere.

Ask around if people know where you might find surrounding farms, livestock of fields. They might look at you strange, but you are here to tell a story, not to act like a tourist.

Then, scan the scene for someone interesting. Usually, the best subjects are:

expressive in their gestures
Outspoken
Confident

However, this is not always the case and depends highly on the kind of story you are telling. ALWAYS. Filter for the characteristics you are after. It might take approaching a few people and getting leads before you find the right person.

The important thing is to NEVER assume the first person you meet is the right fit. They usually aren’t.

Manage your appearance:

This is your first task before stepping into the world ready to tell some stories. Wherever you head, you need to blend in to a degree, and show that you can be trusted.

There is no point trying to be invisible. Instead, the goal is to help people identify and sympathise with you.
Some key characteristics include:

Dresscode: aim to dress in local fashion, adhering to societal and sometimes religious expectations (e.g. wearing long sleeved clothes in muslim communities)
Language: you won’t learn any language fluently right before stepping into a new country. But learn basic phrases and polite exchanges. This will gain you respect that is afforded only few.
Demeanour: Learn to adjust your behaviour. This includes how loud you speak, how fast you walk, how you navigate traffic and how you order your food. This might take a little time, but paying attention can show people that you understand their culture.

Principles of approaching strangers:

Before you starting walking up to strangers with your Bazooka of a camera, there are a few unspoken rules to be aware of:

Don’t hold your camera as you approach someone for the first time. This suggests that you are ready to take the shot, putting most people into a defensive state right from the start. Instead, have it packed away, hanging over your shoulder or on a strap on your backpack. It’s fine to have it visible, but not active.
Never lead with a demand. Always put your relationship with your subject first, showing that you care about them and their story beyond just the product you are trying to create. You will see this in the examples I provide below.
Aim for one of three things when approaching strangers with your camera:
- Establishing commonality. Find something you have in common: maybe you are wearing the same shoes, maybe you are both bald, you might have the same colour eyes or they are listening to a band you like. When you highlight the commonality it instantly creates connection.
- Asking for help. Most people want to be helpful, so if you give them an opportunity they will most likely try to be of assistance. This can then lead to a longer conversation. Just make sure whatever you ask is not urgent so you can follow on from there.
- Offering help. This is often even more effective than asking for help. You could offer help to complete a physical task they are struggling with, or offer to buy something from their store, or even gift them something small they could use. The main risk here is that they might decline, which is less likely with options 1 & 2.

4. If you are short on time, you might just need to be direct and lead with your idea for a photo or video. I have a separate list of openers for this situation below.

Now that you have a good background, here is a list of my most successful openers.

Pick-Up Lines - Indirect

Pick up-lines - indirect:

We are wearing the same shoes, where did you get them?
You work very hard, are you always this busy?
Excuse me, do you know where I could find the train station?
What is it you are selling, can I try?
I love your smile, you must be a very happy person, no?
Do you have some water for me?
I’m sorry, could you hold this for a second while I tie my shoe?
Do you know what time it is?
That looks heavy, can I give you a hand?
Wow it is hot, is it always like this here?
Hello, I am looking for a pharmacist/tour guide/ policeman, do you know someone like that here?

Pick-Up Lines - Direct

You have a wonderful smile, do you mind if I take a photo?
Hi, I am making a film about your country, would you like to represent your people?
Hey, would you like a free portrait?
If I took a photo of you, how would you like to look? Strong? Wise?
I am making a movie, do you want to be a Movistar for 10 seconds?
Hi, I am creating a documentary about farmers from Myanmar, do you know any farmers in the area?
I am doing a documentary story on your country. What do most people misunderstand about your culture?
If I do X for you, would you be happy to be in a photo / video?

Note that none of them relate directly to my idea of taking a photo/video. Instead, they all draw on establishing commonality, asking for help or offering help.

Obviously, it is possible that, despite your best efforts, they have objections to you taking photos of them or filming them. Dealing with these objections, and knowing when to persist and when to move on, is a whole other topic. I actually have written a post on it so if you’d like to learn more, click here!